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Stillness

Family, Gifts, Grace, Gratitude, Growth, Lessons, Love, Patience, Rest, Stillness

Grounded in 2020

God speaks to me strongest through his creation.  I love nature – rocks, animals, trees, water, crystals, grass…all the simple beauty.  Chances are, when you see me, I have some form of nature in my pocket reminding me to stay grounded.  A rock, a feather from a bird, a seed from a plant…they bring me peace.  We can all get a little too full of hot, stagnant air from time to time.  We allow monkeys that are not from our own circus to jump on our back. We worry, and then we worry. When that doesn’t work, we worry some more.

Nature is a way of remembering what is mine and what is important.  Staying grounded is vital for my own spiritual health.

There is often a mantra being repeated in my head, “What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is yours.”

Keep your crap over there Karen. 

Nature reminds us to be steady. Nature is audacious in its perseverance. In its bounce back ability.

This is definitely a time to focus on staying grounded, as nothing is solid. We are in a time where everything in our country and counties are changing by the hour. No rhyme or reason or warning. Just when we think we have a plan, the rug is once again pulled out from underneath our feet. It’s like trying to stand up on a lily pad. Everything is contradicting. We are left grasping on to the yin and the yang.

Nothing is certain or permanent.

Everyone’s pain is relevant. Everyone’s confusion is relevant. Grace is required and appreciated.

We need to get good at loving. We need to get resilient at surviving heartbreak, accepting what we can and can’t control. There is a peace and freedom in letting go of our plan and picture of what we envisioned 2020 would look like and savoring the joy that we can find in the wake of it.

The funny thing is, we’ve never had full control, in any year. Life can knock us down at any point, and just when we get our footing again, it’ll knock you from the other side. We know this, as we’ve all been knocked on our own behinds. Perhaps that’s why there is extra cushion there. Clever God, that guy thought of everything. I’m positive that’s why my backside has grown as I’ve aged, continued training for bounce back ability.

The one certain that hasn’t changed is the love and nature of God.

We can stay grounded in that. And on the hard days that knock us on our padded bottoms, get outside. Walk barefoot in the grass. Sit by some water and listen to it. Find a tree and lean against it in the shade. There is a reason tree huggers are happy. Find a pretty rock and hold it in your pocket. If you don’t have a pocket, put it in your bra. (Pro tip – take it out before going through airport security.) Lift your face up to feel the sunshine. Watch the moon glowing on our sweet world. Let the outdoors slow you down. Take a lesson from God’s nature and become a Champ at loving.

I’ll leave you with the weekly words from our boys Lorena Athletic Director and beloved Coach Ray Biles,

“Don’t worry about the things you cannot control, focus on the things you can control. It may change tomorrow. It may change the day after that, but you know the good Lord is in control and we’ll all be okay.”

Sending you love, light, and pretty rocks,

Brooke

Authenticity, Boundaries, Grace, Lessons, Stillness

Freedom to be misunderstood

Once, I was headed to a gathering where the reception wasn’t anticipated to be super warm. As I was preparing for awkwardly coldish, yet clammy weather, my anxiety was bubbling at an all time high. I was praying fiercely that God would wrap me in a protective bubble, maybe even letting that bubble float back home, when a song by Dolly Pardon and For King & Country came on the radio. There are several miracles in this simple situation. Miracle #1 – I was listening to the radio and not a podcast, audiobook, or playlist. Miracle #2 – Dolly was singing. Miracle #3 – I paid attention to the words of a song, which were this…

“God only knows what you’ve been through

God only knows what they say about you

God only knows how it’s killing you

But there’s a kind of love that God only knows.”

Ah, that love. I rest in it. You should too. We have the freedom to be misunderstood because He knows. Not only that, we have the freedom to be misunderstood and not even explain ourselves. Not even a little bit. Please consider this your misunderstood ticket, enjoy! It’s redeemable for a lifetime.

When things are so misconstrued or wrong, we naturally want to correct another’s mindset or opinion. SURELY if they only heard the story from your mouth, they would then understand the shoes you are standing in. That very act of explaining yourself takes so much energy, when it could be used on greater things. Like loving your family. Or cuddling with a dog. Or enjoying a mammogram.

“The people pleaser’s best accomplice is the fine art of over explaining.”

I am the most engaged and needy student on this subject. My fight or flight instinct comes out in a desperate desire for everyone to understand, be on the same level, and all get along. I have a huge problem of using all the words to over explain, while trying to get everyone up to date and on the same page. I am so uncomfortable when people are scattered on different pages, “Everyone gather! You guys up front, might you slow down while these peeps catch up? Peeps in the back, read over these handy Cliff Notes to catch up with us, so we can ALL UNDERSTAND TOGETHER.”

Just ask my husband. He does not suffer with this issue or with the need for anyone to “understand” him. He doesn’t even try to get others to understand me. Perhaps due to the length of time it took him to learn my crazy, but that doesn’t need to be unpacked here. Blessed be sweet man.

There is freedom in being misunderstood. There is freedom in just letting it go and letting it happen. There is freedom in letting people land where they naturally belong.

Sometimes the simplest resources teach us best. Like water. Water seeks it’s own level. And we should just get out of it’s way and let it settle. Don’t create waves to pull yourself or others to a different level so they can understand where you are, or vice versa. We are different people, with different gifts, and understand this world and our experience in it a billion different ways.

Besides, water is still beautiful no matter the level. Water doesn’t bother itself by explaining where it stands. It doesn’t beg for us to see it’s perrogative. It has the freedom to just be, understood or not.

As do we.

“If we are more concerned with spinning around trying to assess everybody’s opinions and reactions, trying to manage what the whole world things about us, we run the risk of losing the ground He has given us.”

**Quotes are from “Stand all the way Up” written by Sophie Hudson

Crazy Cycle, Rest, Stillness, Uncategorized

Ain’t you Tired?

I’ve learned the quickest way to freak my husband out is to rest.  He doesn’t completely understand the concept.  He can power nap with the best of them, but literally hops up, pulls his boots on and heads out the door in search of something to fix or do, sometimes just having to settle for watering plants.  This is not a passive aggressive complaint.  I truly love that he is a doer and that nothing stays broken or half way done at our house.  Most of the time I celebrate him by throwing a chore of my own at his feet, in hopes he will pick it up out of curiosity and complete it.  This method of my madness usually works, especially when I add a sweet smile. Thank goodness for people like Chadwick.

I need rest. I need restoration and recharging.  I’ve learned that stillness is it’s own adventure.  All lessons learned on the dusty road called Exhaustion.

I was chatting with a wise friend recently, kinda (100% completely) complaining about a situation.  Before I knew it, I was rolling around in my ego and explaining to her everything I had done for… blah, blah, blah.  Everything I was sharing was facts, I had gone completely extra on something that no one had asked me to do.  I did it out of my old people-pleasing-Enneagram-2-ways, and found myself feeling bitter when it wasn’t appreciated or the same thoughtfulness was reciprocated.

After affirming my effort, in the most gentle voice she said, “Brooke, why don’t you just…. stop?”.

It silenced me into a defeated, “I know.”

Because I do know.  I know all too well how working away at something that is one sided always leaves you lopsided.  Traveling in a circle that has no exit.  Living lopsided doesn’t seem very balanced.  Call me OCD.

“Ain’t you tired Miss Hilly? Ain’t you tired?”

A favorite quote from the book and movie “The Help”.  I’d like to think I’m not quite on Miss Hilly’s level of jerkiness, but truth is, I probably am – just in my own way.  Regardless, yes is the answer.  Yes, I am tired.

Isn’t it incredible what a good night sleep does for our physical and mental state?   Ask a new mom, or a mom of teenagers who drive.

Here is what I want you to hear today…

You have permission to stop, and no one will call you a quitter.

You have permission to rest, and no one will call you lazy.

To be clear, “no one” is defined by your people.

Your bury-the-body friends will never judge your rest.  Because they know it is necessary for your heart and mind.  They want this for you.  They also know there will be a lot more bodies for them to help bury if they don’t let you rest. (hypothetically speaking)

Even trees rest.  They don’t even have to be told to in a blog post.  During the winter, they send all their energy into their roots to nourish, restore, and get ready for spring.  Sometimes rest is a nap, other times it is a mental break – but the best recharging is always intentional.  Don’t forget to turn your brain off for rest time.

In a recent (8 months ago) yoga class, we were instructed to not “dump down into our ankles and hands”.  Instead our movements needed to focus on lifting.   Rising up.

Isn’t life so much about intention?   Our hands and ankles can only move in certain ways – but with a specific intention of movement and energy, they can hold our weight while rising.

When I don’t make some form of rest a priority, I end up dumping down into more things than just my ankles and hands – my relationships, health, work….all things suffer.  When we rest, we are literally lifting our spirits higher, rising to the occasion called life.

Let’s intentionally live it well.

Rest well friend.

Books, Courage, Friendship, Gratitude, Growth, Laughter, Makeup, Rest, Stillness

What is saving your life right now?

Barbara Brown Taylor has made a practice of asking others and herself that question often*.

Salvation is a word for the divine spaciousness that comes to human beings in all the tight places where their lives are at risk, regardless of how they got there or whether they know God’s name. Few of us can choose our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond to them.  To be saved is not only to recognize the alternative to the deadliness pressing down on us but also be able to act on it.”

This morning when I awoke, I started a list. Shallow and thoughtful.  Spiritual and materialistic.  Here is what is saving my life right now. Continue Reading

Christmas, Family, Grace, Parenting, Priorities, Rest, Stillness

Peace, Christmas, and the Hallmark Channel

I like the Hallmark channel for the same reasons I like pretty Instagram pictures.  It hides the hard struggles.  We can sit and watch a pretty scene while we rest from the trial and pains from our very real lives.   There is the slight danger of a comparison trap, but hasn’t everyone caught on that life isn’t going to always resemble Christmas Town, USA?  While life isn’t perfect and our hearts sometimes crack, it can still be beautiful. 

By the time Christmas Day arrives, I hope to have every single cheesy Christmas movie watched.  Even though I will inwardly cringe at some (most) of them, they will overflow my reindeer antler cup with the Holiday Spirit. Just because real life holidays are not always Hallmark, doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy them.  Dare I say perhaps even learn from them?  

Christmas season is currently the sweetest season for me. However, there have been harder years of loss that haven’t been as sweet, if that is the case for you I offer you this;

“Give grace to your situation.  May we see our sorrow, grief, and difficulties as they are, without trying to extract meaning or closure before their time has come.”

Be gentle with yourself, and give sadness room to breathe even as you wait for joy to come again.  And know that the Prince of Peace will sit with you in your sadness, until you are ready to give it to Him to help heal.  Continue Reading