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texturedsoul

Family, Gratitude, Hope, Lessons, Love, Parenting

The Audacious Hope of Rooted Things

“The audacious hope of rooted things”

That was my first thought when I looked up from a traffic light this week and realized that the bluebonnets had bloomed.  It actually caught my breath looking at them and recognizing they were here, along with spring.*

I suspect the bluebonnets have been here for awhile, but my eyes have been cast down, along with my heart – and I missed the rebirth and bloom of the gorgeous wild flowers.

I feel ridiculous for how deeply I miss my GrandDad.  When life goes according to plan, we are supposed to bury our grandparents.  Sadly, all three sets of my grandparents buried their own children.  If life is sweet enough to let us plan according to the circle of a full life, then I should have been ready.  But, I never, ever would have been.

I miss him. He stepped in and raised me as a daughter when he didn’t have to. My parents divorced when I was eight months old, which lead to my mother and I moving in with her parents. Since my mom and her siblings called him Daddy, and my grandmother referred to him as Daddy in front of the kids, then I did too.  Lots of my cousins call him GrandDad, or Papa – but he was always Daddy to me.

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May 16, 2019 by
Boundaries, Crazy Cycle, Growth, Lessons, Love, Patience

Cheap and Chewed

A spiritual, intentional life isn’t one without drama.  However, it can be one without cheap drama.  I’ve arrived at this lesson slower than a tortoise, but with burnt hands, I lift them and say no more to cheap drama.

You can do the same.

Here is the deal…Life naturally brings drama.

Some of your best and most loved people are going to pass on to the next life, without your permission.  Your beloved pets too.  When you are healing from these deep cuts, life can still teach you even more heart ache.  Grey’s Anatomy taught us that real life drama takes few breaks.  Remember Denny?  I’m still not over losing him.

Your heart is going to break several times in this life.  It is also going to mend – never the same, but shockingly, it pieces back together in a similar shape. Covered in wounds and scars which give it texture. And stories that can create tenderness or bitterness, depending on which we choose.

Your plate is going to be full. Your kids are going to be crazy.  In fact, if you are a mom, or parent children in any way, you will learn our darlings come packaged with their own level of drama.  Tied with a ribbon labeled “You’re Welcome.”

People are going to dislike you.  Forsake you. You will be misrepresented in a few tales. Some people will try to hand you their messes.

The good news is you can say no and turn away from cheap drama.  Your no can be silent yet definite.  You don’t have to make a point or lesson for another, you can choose differently and hand them back their own work to do. Continue Reading

March 5, 2019 by
Books, Courage, Friendship, Gratitude, Growth, Laughter, Makeup, Rest, Stillness

What is saving your life right now?

Barbara Brown Taylor has made a practice of asking others and herself that question often*.

Salvation is a word for the divine spaciousness that comes to human beings in all the tight places where their lives are at risk, regardless of how they got there or whether they know God’s name. Few of us can choose our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond to them.  To be saved is not only to recognize the alternative to the deadliness pressing down on us but also be able to act on it.”

This morning when I awoke, I started a list. Shallow and thoughtful.  Spiritual and materialistic.  Here is what is saving my life right now. Continue Reading

February 20, 2019 by
Character, Courage, Growth, Lessons

Echo Chamber

I have lived a large portion of my life in an echo chamber.  Even once I was old enough to make my own decisions, I was more comfortable staying in the echo chamber than venturing out.  Voices would come and go – as my opinions and beliefs did – but the only voices within hearing distance were the ones that echoed my own.

There is something super comforting about others agreeing with you, happily confined to our “us against them” mentality.  We stay inside our bubbles and only listen to the people who make us feel good about our opinions.  “See? We are all right.”

Mental high fives all around.

Life is lived easy in an echo chamber.

I just don’t believe that is what we were called to do.  I believe we were called to reach across the aisle and try to understand what others are saying too.  Life isn’t one big, clear window to look out.  It’s more of a beautiful stained glass window with an intricate pattern that can only be seen from a higher perspective.

From your spot, you may look out and see everything from a rose colored tint.  From mine, a yellow hue.  Another may see the world out of the lens of royal blue.  Sometimes we are wedged in a spot where the glass is bubbled and thick, which limits our clear view of anything.  Our view colors our perspective of reality, and we become comfortable with only the people with our same view.

One fact is that we can always move to another spot of the stained glass window.

Don’t like your view? Change it. Continue Reading

February 5, 2019 by
Gifts, Gratitude, Prayer

Take Your Gratitude Medicine

At some point in this past year, I have forgotten how to breathe.

Odd, since I don’t remember learning the first time around. It just came natural.  I’m not completely gasping like a fish out of water, but hang out somewhere in between a flopping trout and yoga zen.

Some have called this anxiety.  Since I don’t have time for anxiety, it can’t be that. I have heard several times one cannot be anxious and overflowing with gratitude at the same time. I haven’t fully bought in to this, but I’m going to try it.  What I do know, from years of experience, is what consumes our mind controls our life.  I want to be consumed with gratitude and allow that to take control.

So.

I’ve put in a heavenly request to change my default setting.  It is now set to gratitude.  I’ve let God and His host of angels know, but also need the extra accountability for when anxiety sets in. In case I can’t reach it or forget where it is, please hit my reset button.

I’ve had several versions of a Gratitude Journal. I’ve written a list in the morning to start my day off on a thankful note.  I’ve jotted down some grateful musings in the evening before bed, and followed it up with a prayer that God would heal and restore my heart while I sleep. When I’m upset, angry, or worried about something, and I remember (or am humbled enough) to physically write down 5 things I am thankful for in that moment – it truly changes the posture of my heart. Continue Reading

January 14, 2019 by