Sunday morning started down a rough path…beginning on Saturday. The oldest darling had sent me a text stating what his weekend plans were (with him now being an adult and all). I replied that his social calendar was fine with me as long as he was asking and not telling, and that we were planning on going to church the next morning, so to make sure and factor that in. The whining that began was enough to make you want to donate your ears. The arguments ranged from, “This is my only day this week to sleep in”, to “I don’t have anything clean to wear” to finally, “Are we going to the really EARLY service??”.
Irritated, (as he only goes to church with us twice a month due to our co-parenting schedule) I informed the entitled, overgrown tyke that we were going to the same service we always went to, then followed up with a short text telling him, “Don’t be a butt”. Only I didn’t say butt. Jesus fill the gaps. (Feel free to message or email me for any further mothering tips.) May God help me recognize earlier when to insert gentle teaching moments, as I clearly have some parental growing to do. That is a scary realization when you have teenagers and hear the clock ticking down on your job being mostly done.
Mason has always referred to me as the “Blind Side Mom”, and I now see why. I thought he had always based it on the “Get your feet off my dash.” line in the movie, also the fact that I will take in anyone – whether they have two legs or four. I want to focus more on the opportunities for grace-filled, building moments and less snap-you-up moments.
Have you ever noticed that your attitude can sometimes determine your circumstances, and always seems to have a say on your outcome? Obviously I haven’t. No doubt, my attitude laid the foundation of our Sunday morning (starting on Saturday). Mason was meeting us at church, since he had stayed the night with a friend. McCray had decided to drop his brain in the toilet, which short circuited his memory into forgetting what he is allowed to wear to church and walked out to the car looking like we were headed to basketball practice. “WHAT are you wearing?” is a sentence I learned not to waste my time on with boys, due to it never being answered with a good reason, but I relapsed. I was stressed because my morning started with getting full out dressed (aka wash, dry, AND fix my hair…angels be near.) and load the car with all the fixings for Sunday lunch with it being my week to cook.
By the time we got to church, I felt as though I had fought my way out of a fierce swarm of bees, with some stingers still tucked inside my skin. Irritation was written all over my body. I might as well have been on a 24-hour college bender, because that’s how tired I felt. Was the fuss even worth it? It’s so peopley here today, with all these perfect families. What did I just teach these boys with my attitude about them getting here to worship our God who is into simplicity? Good grief, what a missed opportunity.
Then, we sang a song with the chorus that sings,
O church, come stand in the light. The glory of God has defeated the night.”.
All the stings, given and received, and the past eighteen hours melted – like holy calgon, taking it away. They say that hope begins when you stand in the dark, looking out at the light. I believe hope is also realizing that our notion of a sanitized, perfect Christianity isn’t really what Jesus taught or intended us to strive for. Hope is a whisper that says, “Come stand in the light beloved, no matter how dirty you feel.”
I had spent the last two days getting worked up that my boys didn’t have the right attitude about church or dress perfectly for church, that I missed an opportunity to attract them TO the church – the act of worship and the practice of filling your bucket. Oh Martha, dear Martha, why do you have to show up here again?
When McCray was an infant, I started (note started, didn’t finish) the bible study, “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World”, based on the story of the sisters in Luke 10. I not only identified with Martha, but I felt so sorry for her. Everyone was being so hard on her, wanting her to be more like her sister. Clearly Mary wasn’t going to cook, clean, and prepare for Jesus, so who did that leave? Martha! I want to have a pep rally for Martha, or create a power point explaining her perspective, because every time I read the story, I see myself in her actions and frustrations.
Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it – it’s the main course, and it won’t be taken from her.” Luke 10:41-42 (The Message Bible)
There is no space for sanitized Christanity in transforming grace. Transformations are messy, yet grace can clean better than a Roomba and bleach. Grace can easily tackle messy foundations and sanitized surfaces. Poor Martha’s wholehearted service got tangled up in sanitation while Mary did the good thing and sat at the feet of grace Himself. Grace says to our Martha moments, “You are worried and troubled by many things, but choose the GOOD part. Calm down and come sit down, right at My feet beloved.”
I think I heard grace also say, “Who in tarnation cares what that boy is wearing, we are aiming for his heart, not his fashion sense”. I’m pretty positive I heard that whispered. God is into simplicity. Let’s join Him.
At one time, I clearly had too much time on my hands and stitched a favorite quote for my closet. “I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet.” Perhaps it was a warning label, framed for my husband. “This girl does and will buy clothes, think of it as an investment, with a return of happiness.” Here are a few things I like to have in my closet to make me feel warm and safe:
