I’ve never really bought into having a word of the year. I enjoy too many words to reduce it all down to just one. Also, it takes me the full month of January to decide what my year goals will be, how could I decide on a word to encompass goals that haven’t been completely set?! So naturally, when the new year rolled around I wasn’t looking for the perfect word to express my focus for 2018, until I heard it. Scrolling through Instastories, I paused on Tiffany Hendra’s video (beautiful inside and out, exuding positive energy, AND a Texan? Yes please!). She was sharing that her word for the year was Overflow, focusing on operating from a place of overflow and not depletion. A southern baptist revival went off in my heart. YES!
That said, I’d love to introduce you to my FIRST, borrowed word of the year, Overflow. Purely judging on my past behavior, when I practice healthy self-care, nourish my heart, control my thoughts, and focus on the positive, I operate from a place overflow. Overflow = Kindness and love. When life gets crazy, and I am running on empty, I operate from a place of depletion. Depletion = Nasty and judgemental. Simply put – when I am depleted, I am not full of love. When I’m not filled with love, I operate like a hybrid of Judge Judy and Miss Hannigan – I think everyone needs to abide within my justice system, I treat children like orphans, and am looking for a drink.
Last fall, Teenager #1 decided he was vegan. He politely asked for my debit card to go grocery shopping for his new dietary needs, and came back with food I had a hard time pronouncing or understanding. When he got in from work each night, he would create beautiful vegan meals that Bobby Flay would be proud of. This mom was impressed, who was this semi-child prodigy in the kitchen? As his vegan journey progressed, my husband was worried Mason wasn’t getting enough protein. As always, being the supporter he is, he researched the vegan lifestyle and figured out which supplements should be added into Mase’s daily diet. Vitamins were ordered.
They came in on a Friday, which was also Homecoming in our small town. Friday Night Lights are no joke in Texas, as we spend the week before planning the food and decor for our tailgate, set up right outside of the entrance gate of our stadium. I’m not even gonna apologize for this ridiculousness, we love it. Being Mason’s senior year, the year of “last”, I had my camera ready for every move he made. At halftime, I made my way to the track to take pictures of the pretty people. All of the beautiful Homecoming Queen nominees had been friends of his since grade school. It was bittersweet seeing these precious babies, who had traipsed through our home for 12 years, now grown and dressed up in gorgeous dresses, glittering under the stadium lights.
Precious moments. Only Mason did not get the memo to enjoy it, he was HANGRY with the attitude to match. After watching him snap a couple of heads off, including mine, I finally told him to chill out. The quick version of mom speech ending with, “This is the last Homecoming you will be on this track, quit acting like a brat and enjoy it!”. He replied with a sigh, “Mom, I don’t think I can be vegan anymore.” Oh good grief, get a snickers Betty White. Mase was running on empty, depleted of nutrients his body needed to have a good attitude apparently. I pointed to the concession stand and told him to go straight there and get a dang burger. The vegan vitamins were returned. His friends still make jokes about the two weeks that Mason was vegan, it was hell on us all.
Grace and her cheesy fans.
Not pictured – Betty White, he was at the concession stand.
Depletion is so dangerous, physically and mentally. Running on empty is not a good look for me; snappy, sassy, and short. I’ve learned and accepted that I am an introvert. This is surprising to some, myself included, as I love people and social events, as long as it follows some alone time for me. This is when I fill up. You can’t pour into people when your cup is empty. Simply put, overflow isn’t possible when you are drained. I’ve lived too many days running on empty, deplete of the emotional nutrients required for the life I strive to live.
Wonder where your cup level currently sits? Just wait. Your happy will be bumped soon enough, because that is life. It is sweet and it is brutal, sometimes at the same time. My great grandmother was the greatest example of overflow. She didn’t overflow from having an easy life, quite the opposite. She got married to a man who ran around on her, experienced divorce back when it was unheard of, buried three of her five babies, remarried a loving, widowed man and took on his children as her own. Her husband, mother, and father all died within one year, and she lived for 55 more years without them. And the ultimate depletion, she outlived all seven of her children. Nannymom was loved by her many grands and great-grands, for we all sing her praises. Through all the bumps of her life, we would have accepted and understood had she been grumpy or sad, but that wasn’t how she lived. She lived in overflow, ready to pour into you when you came in the door. She made us feel like we sparkled.
Our sweet Nannymom, we loved her a bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck.
Some of Nannymom’s last days were spent in our home. She came to live with us when the boys were four and seven. We got to celebrate her 100th birthday – passing her the phone when the White House called to wish her a happy birthday, watching her open a birthday card from President George Bush and Laura, and another from past president, Jimmy Carter. We later made fried chicken and chocolate pie, and by “we”, I mean her. I was simply the student. Later that year, Nannymom had a stroke and was moved to a nursing home. The hardest decision for me to accept. Her first weekend there, I was there when she woke up and stayed until she was tucked in bed. We had lots of directions for the nurses and staff, as she had never lived anywhere there wasn’t family in the next room. On the third day, the doctor came in to see her and found both of us asleep in her bed. He kindly, but sternly told me that I needed to go home and rest, that I was not going to be a good caregiver running on empty like I obviously was. He irritated me with this, yet I knew it was true.
Our vehicles don’t work when they are on empty, we fill up with gas. Our kitchens can’t produce a meal when the shelves are bare, which is why we grocery shop. Nothing runs on empty, so why would we expect to? I encourage you friend, invest in your cup filling, whatever that looks like for you. Rest, read, coffee and some quiet solitude, go for a run or walk, yoga, weights, vegging out with a Real Housewives marathon (this is a no judgement zone), go craft something, write, sew, snuggle with a puppy or baby lamb, whatever it is…..filler up my friend.
May we operate from a place of overflow. That when our life gets bumped, what spills out of the top is love, and not Judge Judy
* While Mason hasn’t committed to being a vegan again, he is now a vegetarian. Lord, help us all.
