Friendship, Grace, Priorities, Uncategorized, What is saving your life

Life Giving Friends

A personal intention this year was to spend more quality time with Life-giving friends. In the ongoing To-Do List, Number #8 was “Make a list of Life-giving friends” because I am efficient if nothing. It remains written as a reminder to notice the life-givers and to be one.

A favorite bible story of mine is of a few friends who carried their sick friend to Jesus in hopes of healing him. When they couldn’t get to Him due to the crowd, they climbed on up, cut a hole in the roof and lowered their paralytic friend to Jesus. 

Can you even imagine what that scene looked like? 

Bob – “The crowd is too thick boys, there is no way we are gonna get Sick ol’ Sam to Jesus.”

Larry – “Think guys, think!”

Merle – “Hmmm, think we could climb up on the roof?”

Mike – “And then what Merle?  Stomp our feet? Climb down the chimney?”

Sick ol’ Sam – “Never mind guys, it just looks hopeless.”

But it wasn’t. These friends were cut from the find-a-way-or-make-a-way cloth. They made an opening in the roof and lowered their friend down. Because of their faith, the sick one was healed. There aren’t enough thank you notes printed for Sick ol’ Sam to write his gratitudes on.  

Those precious life-giving friends. Those that will bring you to Jesus and lower you right into His lap, tucking you into His loving arms. A favorite visual prayer of mine is to do just that with those I’m specifically praying for – swaddling them into healing arms, snug as a bug in a rug.

Back to the friends on the hot tin (straw?) roof…

Can you imagine how much restraint it would take to be that close to greatness and not want a little healing yourself? “Mr. Alpha and Omega, would you mind looking at this irksome rash really quick?” I mean, look how fast Jesus healed Sam, surely He could simply wink and heal this tiny, itchy issue.

Years ago we went to Lake Tahoe for the Celebrity Golf Tournament. It is such a fun trip – mountains, a gorgeous lake, amazing weather, golf, and celebrities everywhere playing golf for charity. Jason Witten, my favorite Dallas Cowboy, was playing in the tournament and I was a tiny bit determined (obsessed) to get a photo with the big guy. I carried his jersey around in my purse just in case he had time for an autograph as well. Let me pause for a second and say, I am not the girl who embarrasses herself and others by asking for photos or an autograph. If I see a famous person, I get awkward and usually ignore them. I like my celebrities at a distance.

The week was ending, and I had yet to corner my boy Witten for a photo. Our group got photos with every other celebrity but alas, Jason was elusive. We followed his team on his last few holes and positioned ourselves to intercept him on the way to the clubhouse for a photo request. My partner at the time had the camera and a plan. He was going to stop Witten and ask if he would take a photo with me, my job was to be ready to step in and smile.

As Witten and his entourage approached us, my heart started skipping beats, my palms were tingling, and my face was on fire. I flipped my hair to lay just right, my lipgloss was poppin’…I was ready. As Jason ducked under the rope, my partner said, “Jason, could I get a photo with you?”, and then they both turned to smile at me to take the photo.

Of them.

I had to reach for the camera that was in his hand to snap the photo. I then watched, speechless, as my favorite Tight End walked away. And there you go folks, the real reason my first marriage ended in divorce.

It seems hard to control oneself that close to greatness. 

There I was, waiting for my photo, and someone else got it. Had we been on a roof, I might have pushed him off of it rather than lowering him down.

Thankfully for the paralytic man, his friends stayed the course. They remained selfless for their friend’s healing, even that close to the most Divine and Holy being they had ever encountered.

I’m not comparing Jason Witten to Jesus. But if that’s how you read it, you might also suffer from Smitten by Witten syndrome. Jesus can heal that too.

Until then, let’s be life givers. Let’s breathe love and light into our people. May we be in each other’s corner, standing guard over our people through all their things….sadness, loss, pain, sickness, exhaustion, and life. Let’s carry each other to peace and healing.

*Mark 2:3-5 

**Please let it be noted, while I am still working on forgiving my ex-husband for this unspeakable betrayal, we have remained friends and co-parent well.

April 26, 2021 by
Family, Grace, Lessons, Love, Parenting

Glimpses of Glory

I’ve recently learned a secret.  Perhaps the last on earth to know.

Adult children still require parenting.

On one hand, I’m really thrilled about this, as I’m not ready to be done. 

On the other, I think it’s rude and a bit overwhelming.

In case your angels are still little, and you are thinking I’m horrible for having another hand of feelings other than joy, allow me to wearily continue. 

Parenting adults sometimes looks like this – 

Riding in the passenger seat, traveling at the speed of light.  Which turns out to be exactly 96 mph on the highway. Glancing over to notice your precious Man-baby is driving with his knees and looking at his phone anchored on the dashboard.  Instead of reaching for the ol’ faithful mom-gasp, you dig deeper for a calm voice and with white knuckles say, “Babe, you can drive 96 mph, and you can watch America’s Next Top Model.  But, you may not do both at the same time.”

Luckily, the end result is them rolling their eyes, pulling over and giving you reign of the wheel.  Because isn’t that what we are most comfortable with? 

On the other hand…Parenting adults sometimes looks like a glimpse of pure sunshine. 

Recently we met a large group of folks out for dinner.  We happened to have all children in town for the evening and told them to stop by and join us.  It was a casual dinner at a fun restaurant, where everyone can go order their own food at their own pace.  We were settled in for the long haul, relaxing and visiting with friends as the boys joined us one by one.  As they each came in our boys took their hats off, shook hands with the adults, made eye contact, smiled, and appropriate small talk.  Angels sang as their parents inwardly rejoiced, for on this night, all boys remembered the manners taught to them.

As the evening went on, I kept overhearing a guy at the next table quoting scripture to his friend.  A lot of it.  His quoting voice was a little sharp and hard.  He kept looking over at one of my handsome sons who has his own beautiful, unique style. This night’s attire could be categorized as “Homeless Chic” – an oversized t-shirt that could fit all the neighborhood children, shorts, layers of earrings and necklaces, complete with a bandana tied around his head as if he were about to head to an audition of the next Karate Kid remake.

I ignored the mans stares, figuring he was also a fan of Mr. Miyagi.  I mean, who isn’t?

Another one of our boys came in, kindly saying hello to everyone before sitting down to eat. This darling of ours is a huge Man-child.  He is 6’3” and works out like a beast. He also eats like one, reminding me often that I “don’t have to be hungry to eat” and other crazy things kids say these days.  

The man at the next table ramped up the scripture quoting as he continued to stare at our family.  This time I figured he was simply intrigued by the beautiful sleeves of tattoos down Man-Child’s huge arms, each one telling their own story.  Stories that belong to the sweet soul those muscles carry around.

We ignored that man all night.  His judgment, his self righteous bible quoting, the anger and irritation that radiated off of him, and the dirty looks he returned my smiles with.  We focused on the friends who found the treasures these boys hold. 

When we left, I couldn’t quit replaying the night in my head.  Then I got mad.

Really mad.  

And then I got sad.  

Really, really sad. 

I think the man believed he was doing right for the Kingdom.  I believe he was quoting scripture as he understands it.  I believe he was sticking close to his beliefs and faith, holding on to them with a clenched fist.  Gripping his beliefs so tight that Jesus slipped right out of his fingers, as there was zero evidence that comes from a relationship with our Gentle Savor..  None of the softness that comes from knowing Him.  No acceptance or love.

Jesus was present though. He was shining through all the decorations on our grown children. Their kindness. Their gentleness. Their willingness to drive in town, on their own gas, to eat with the parentals. Their obedience and manners.  Their love. Their acceptance of themselves and everyone else at the table, old or not.

If Jesus had come in to eat and drink wine on tap, I can’t help but think he would have chosen to sit at the boys table.

To answer the question that covered every bracelet and bookmark from the 90’s – #WWJD?

#HWLF

He would love first. He always does.

What if that is all we had to do? Love, above all things.

It would definitely free up more of our time to parent.

Apparently that job never ends.

*There is an adult pictured above that I do not parent. He has two parents that have raised him, Chad helped for a few years and I am simply an extra that gets to enjoy him. I am the mom in this house though, therefore sometimes he gets grouped in with the others.

**Photo By Marlo Collins

April 18, 2021 by
Grace, Gratitude, Growth, Priorities, Renewed, Rest

Wide Open Spaces

Wide open spaces are balm to the unrested soul and a brain that doesn’t take a breather.

Last week I put my social secretary on probation, because she stinks. She is a people lover who wants to do all the things. She overcommits me, leaves zero breathing room between appointments, and runs an exhausting schedule that makes one want to fake their own death. Her only saving grace is she has learned some fires aren’t ours, therefore don’t need our irons in them.  She just needs to learn to say a gentle “no thank you” more often.

Also, she is me.

You too?

A while ago I heard an analogy that I wish I remembered well. The gist of it is this…

Imagine all the magnets you have on your refrigerator, each representing an area of your specific life. Family, Friends, Career, Spiritual Life, Health, Exercise, Recreation, Hobbies, Causes you support, Relaxing, Emotional growth, etc. Add what you need to make it tailored to you.

Once you have all your magnets, move them all to the side of the fridge. Only 6 magnets can fit on the front of the appliance. Choose your Top 6 to reflect what you can focus on in this current season of life.

While you love all the magnets, you can only focus on the six on the front of your refrigerator. You are welcome to switch them out at any seasonal change, but only six can be front and center. Those are your current mainstays.

What if we committed to be kinder to ourselves, to honor the season of life we are currently walking through? A gentle no is so much kinder than a stressed yes.

May we leave enough space to take a dang breath.

March 21, 2021 by
Boundaries, Character, Growth, Lessons, Patience, Prayer, Uncategorized

The Highish Road

Let’s be honest…

The high road is not known for being fun and flashy. 

It’s dusty and less traveled enough to not even have a speed limit.

There is no “entrance high” when ramping onto the high road.  If we got the same kick out of taking the high road than we do taking the Loop around Austin, more people would gladly choose it.   Most times there isn’t even a buzz 100 miles into the journey.  It usually comes much later, when looking back and understanding the sanity and peace of traveling this dumb road.  More importantly, the necessity of the LESSON which ended you up on the highish road. 

Truthfully, most times I’d rather just take the Middle Road. Where you can at least get by with a clever snapback.  Because man, there are some good ones for all the Karens and Janets.  

I’ve found myself more times in the swamp.  Not being able to quiet that sharp tongue.  Which never ends up feeling good.  It’s like missing the exit for the Loop and getting stuck in the muck of traffic, downtown Austin. When everything is blurted and off your chest, you think you’ll be free as a lark, instead you feel as low as a toad. 

That being said, I don’t know which road this essay puts me on.  I’m aiming for a higher one.  My hope is to share a little in hopes to help gracefully release some old tie downs that could be holding us back.   

Next to the trinity of my Maker, my husband and boys – extended family and friendships mean everything to me.  Every single thing.  Until they threaten the 5 things in front of them. 

I have created some sturdy boundaries, built through the years which have strengthened me to release some relationships that aren’t healthy for my family or our peace. 

When one continues to speak poorly about your family or children…release them.  It only seems reasonable to recognize their Exit sign.  According to their choices, they chose to sit in an Exit row, accepted the guidelines from the cute flight attendant (think 1980s stewardess here) when moving to that seat, and therefore pulled their own cord to exit your airplane.  Bless them as they float away. 

One can quietly honor the duration of a relationship, including the sharing that happened within it, and 100% be walking yourself and family back to your own bubble of peace, sanity and home.  Even when we are mentally on an airplane where you can’t control the roster or seating arrangement, we can close our eyes and visualize yourself walking back to 1st class, and pulling the curtain closed behind you. Like in the movie Bridesmaids, some of the noisy ones are in coach – ready to par-tay with your emotions and life when you just desperately need silence, peace, air pods, and maybe a glass of wine.

Even when others won’t take themselves on a road a little higher, YOU can. I’d like to think it’s possible that when we choose the elevated path, we can silently wish the person who put you on it would go climb a really tall and really thick cactus. I haven’t confirmed this, but feel God might overlook the later because of the earlier? I don’t know, maybe do your own prayer time on that.

Brene Brown tells us that when we are nervous, we always revert back to our highest level of training.  I think this also works with emotional training.  If we are in the habit of choosing our prayers, our words, our friends, our actions, our habits, and our surroundings wisely…we can slowly create a solid character that wouldn’t dream of taking any other path.

Wouldn’t it be nice to always travel the speedy loop?  To stay grounded and pay attention to the exits given which lead us to those highish paths.  They aren’t always the easiest, but they always end up bringing the most peace. Always. I wish that peace for you friend.

*In complete transparency…

This essay was written a long while ago. It was snappy, written in the weeds of hurt feelings and anger. It was written because I had begrudgingly ended up on the high road. I wanted off of it, and this essay was my ticket. A friend encouraged me to sit on it because she thought I was better than that. Or perhaps hoped me to be? After rolling my eyes and presenting a strong argument that I definitely was not better… I relented. I sat on it, occasionally going back to remove a sharp elbow, one at a time. A dagger here, a swift kick there – all sad feelings processed individually and worked through. Until eventually, I didn’t feel anger or sadness when reading it. Just resolve wrapped in peace.

**Photo by my crazy talented friend Gary Richardson

February 12, 2021 by
Favorite Things, Friday Eve Favorites, Organization

FRIDAY EVE FAVORITES – December Guest Edition

Meet our friend Brooke Davis, commonly referred to as “Little Brooke”. (Which would naturally make me “Tall Brooke”. Please note this for future reference, as I do not answer to “Big Brooke”.) Brooke is a ball of joy, she adds fun and smiles to any gathering or group. Always hilariously positive with a smile on her face and a ton of knowledge and life experience to share. She has a beautiful home and is the BEST hostess, seriously making Gaines and Stewart look like they are just starting out. Brooke is also a fellow Christmas lover, making her my kind of gal. I’m so excited to share her favorite things with you! Give Zoey Lane a follow for gorgeous goods!

Ranch Water-Lone River Ranch Brand at HEB

Somebody decided they wanted to take on the “white claw” hard seltzer explosion, bringing an old East Texas tradition, Ranch Water to market for the masses. Traditionally a West Texas style tequila cocktail with lime and  Topo Chico. It s a lighter and more bubbly version of a margarita. Whatever their motivation, I love that somebody put this little beauty in a can!  If I’m not making it homemade- this is my roadie-du-jour

Costco Stretch Tile Plastic Wrap 

I have a love hate relationship with plastic wrap. Who doesn’t?  It’s amazing and  the spawn of satan at the same time. Costco to the rescue!  Trust me….buy this and have one less headache on your plate. With a handy built in cutter- you will never have to attend Saran-wrestle-mania again!  Buy at Costco or Amazon. 

Water bottle holder

Do your cabinets constantly suffer from a tumbler/blender bottle/ water bottle/swell title-wave? You’re welcome!  

Container Store Shoe Boxes

Do yourself a favor and invest in Container Store Shoe Boxes. Spend a few hours ONE weekend and transform your shoe-scapade!  (I promise the time is worth it!) 

Oyster shells

Some might say I have become obsessed with oysters. And that might be true. A little over 2 months ago in a COVID induced state of delirium, I started handcrafting pretty little oysters. Why, I am not quite sure. Maybe for fun…maybe there was some stress. …  Regardless, I quickly realized they made perfect little gifts as jewelry bowls, salt /pepper pinch bowls and just pretty little accents. And a few people bought them!  And then a few more. And now I think I have created almost 300 shells in 2 months with no end in sight. Check out my Instagram page if you need a unique gift for the holidays!

Tile

Have you ever left your purse in an Uber?  Your phone in the middle of a stack of sweaters in Nordstrom’s, your wallet in the middle of the apples at H-E-B?  No?  (Liar……). Insert TILE. Again, you’re welcome. Lost your purse? Open the app on your phone and signal the ringer in your purse. Lost your phone?  Grab the old TILE out of your purse and activate the ringer to your phone. Voila!!   Reunited and it feels so good!  

Wine Away Red Wine Stain Remover

If you ever take your dogs on a 24 hour road trip to your favorite vacation spot- In the first 15 minutes you open that bottle of wine you have waited hours for….they will spill it all over 2 cream couches at your lovely VRBO. Or maybe that is just me. You can literally save anything with Wine Away. Couches, suits, white jeans…just ask me. I’ll tell ya. 

Emergency LED Light Bulbs with Rechargeable Battery for Daily Use, Power Outage, Camping, Hurricane, Disaster Planning

Being from Houston I am a self-admitted mini-prepper. I naturally prep for hurricanes, severe weather, flooding, power outages, a zombie apocalypse. You name it…..well maybe not a zombie apocalypse (until 2020 happened).  This to say I LOVE little cheats to make the uncomfortable a little more comfortable. Enter these awesome rechargeable, mobile light bulbs.  If I turn out the lights……no problem. If the unexpected turns out the lights…….INSTANT HYSTERIA. Plug these little jewels into a lamp and they charge while in use. If the power goes out, remove the bulb, add the adapter (which has a little hook for convenience) and you can take the beacon of light anywhere in the house!  Voila!  Let there be light!   

Weck Jars

If you’ve met me, you know I am all about the little details of entertaining. Fancy little monogrammed napkins, a pretty little glass for every cocktail, a dainty little caviar bowl for all those times you bust out the caviar. (Which to date has been exactly ZERO times- but I am ready just in case). Remember- I like to be  prepared for anything. Enter my favorite Weck Jars. These gorgeous little jars come in all kinds of fun little shapes and sizes. They are perfect for storing things in the fridge and immediately transferring to a serving platter. One less dish to clean up right? You can find them all kinds of places online but also places such as World Market, The Container Store and Bearings.

Assets Tights from Target

In the fall and winter I live in short skirts, tights and TALL boots. Just about every day. But tights are difficult thing. They roll down, they bunch up, they cut you just enough in the right place to create the dreaded MUFFIN TOP. But Assets from Target are the greatest! A little control at the top, and a difficult to puncture toe make them ideal!

IKEA VAFFLOR (Heart Shaped) Waffles

Who doesn’t want to eat super cute, easy peasy heart shaped waffles for breakfast?  And they are delish!  Next time you are lost in the sea of awesome-ness at IKEA, don’t forget to grab a frozen box of these on your way out the door! 

How amazing is Brooke and her favorites?!

Happy December friends! Wishing you all love & light,

Tall Brooke

December 3, 2020 by