I dreamt of Jesus last night.
He had come down to live with me. And was hanging in my closet. On a hanger.
I don’t know exactly why, but my guess is I was hoarding him there to add to my collection of special occasion outfits.
He was there, but out of the way. Not an active relationship, but still there just in case. Kinda like a fur coat works for Texans, you don’t really need it but on the rare occasion you do, its great to have. I didn’t want to wear Jesus everyday, but on the rare occasions I desperately needed him, He came in clutch.
Seems to track.
In my dream, someone kept coming to get him and He would sadly nod, and start walking away with them.
Then I would yell after Him, “Wait! You can’t leave, you said you were always going to be with me!”
Jesus would put his head down, drop his shoulders and walk back to hang himself back up on a coat hanger in my closet. His face was sorrowful, his movements heavyhearted, and even though He wanted to spend his days walking alongside me, He knew I didn’t have the same desire. So He willingly stayed where I left him, collecting dust in my closet.
This happened several times.
Until I realized how wasted He was there and gently told him He could go.
I told him He had done his job. He had loved me well and taught me unconditional love.
I let Him go. I’ll never forget the mournful look in his eyes. His heart was broken for me, but He did as I ask.
I let Jesus go.
Rather than take Him out of the closet to clothe myself in Him every day. To be clothed in His strength, grace, dignity, and faith. For Jesus to live alongside me and not tucked away in a closet.
Why have I forgotten how amazing it feels to live life with coordinating footsteps?
I want to take Jesus out of storage, blow the dust bunnies off, and steam the coat hanger wrinkles out of his shoulders. Not just for His upcoming birthday celebration, but for always.
I hope the closet will remain a visual for me. I hope to look up to the place Jesus was hanging, take Him down, put Him on like the finest garment I own, place my hand in His and tackle every day together.
Jesus, you are welcome here.
