Once, I was headed to a gathering where the reception wasn’t anticipated to be super warm. As I was preparing for awkwardly coldish, yet clammy weather, my anxiety was bubbling at an all time high. I was praying fiercely that God would wrap me in a protective bubble, maybe even letting that bubble float back home, when a song by Dolly Pardon and For King & Country came on the radio. There are several miracles in this simple situation. Miracle #1 – I was listening to the radio and not a podcast, audiobook, or playlist. Miracle #2 – Dolly was singing. Miracle #3 – I paid attention to the words of a song, which were this…
“God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it’s killing you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows.”
Ah, that love. I rest in it. You should too. We have the freedom to be misunderstood because He knows. Not only that, we have the freedom to be misunderstood and not even explain ourselves. Not even a little bit. Please consider this your misunderstood ticket, enjoy! It’s redeemable for a lifetime.
When things are so misconstrued or wrong, we naturally want to correct another’s mindset or opinion. SURELY if they only heard the story from your mouth, they would then understand the shoes you are standing in. That very act of explaining yourself takes so much energy, when it could be used on greater things. Like loving your family. Or cuddling with a dog. Or enjoying a mammogram.
“The people pleaser’s best accomplice is the fine art of over explaining.”
I am the most engaged and needy student on this subject. My fight or flight instinct comes out in a desperate desire for everyone to understand, be on the same level, and all get along. I have a huge problem of using all the words to over explain, while trying to get everyone up to date and on the same page. I am so uncomfortable when people are scattered on different pages, “Everyone gather! You guys up front, might you slow down while these peeps catch up? Peeps in the back, read over these handy Cliff Notes to catch up with us, so we can ALL UNDERSTAND TOGETHER.”
Just ask my husband. He does not suffer with this issue or with the need for anyone to “understand” him. He doesn’t even try to get others to understand me. Perhaps due to the length of time it took him to learn my crazy, but that doesn’t need to be unpacked here. Blessed be sweet man.
There is freedom in being misunderstood. There is freedom in just letting it go and letting it happen. There is freedom in letting people land where they naturally belong.
Sometimes the simplest resources teach us best. Like water. Water seeks it’s own level. And we should just get out of it’s way and let it settle. Don’t create waves to pull yourself or others to a different level so they can understand where you are, or vice versa. We are different people, with different gifts, and understand this world and our experience in it a billion different ways.
Besides, water is still beautiful no matter the level. Water doesn’t bother itself by explaining where it stands. It doesn’t beg for us to see it’s perrogative. It has the freedom to just be, understood or not.
As do we.
“If we are more concerned with spinning around trying to assess everybody’s opinions and reactions, trying to manage what the whole world things about us, we run the risk of losing the ground He has given us.”
**Quotes are from “Stand all the way Up” written by Sophie Hudson