The other day I got a phone call from the guy doing glass work on our shower remodel, informing me he was headed out to the house. I wasn’t going to be there, so I began to tell him that we had also decided to re-do the mirrors in the bathroom and asked if he could take a look and give me a quote of cutting them down. We were chatting about the kind of driftwood frame I was planning to build around the mirrors – the construction and heaviness of it, etc. I told him that I would have to send him a pic of what I had in mind to create, because basically I was just gonna “free ball” it. There was a pause on the other end of the phone and the sound of an uncomfortable snicker. It took me a full minute to realize that I had combined two thoughts: eye ball it and free hand it. Instead, he now probably wonders about my anatomy and is certain of my lack of underwear.
It’s in these moments especially, silence is golden.
The inspiration for our “free-balling” mirror. Found on Pinterest.
I think this could be genetic, as I believe most people have their act more intact than myself or my sisters. We are always calling each other, mentally dying at the foot we just put in our mouth. A few years ago, the baby sister worked at a bank back home, which entailed sometimes answering phone calls. One day she picked up the ring and professionally said, “First State Bank, how can I help it?” Realizing her mistake, she corrected it to, “First State Bank, how can I help YOU help it?” Still determined to fix this she said, “First State Bank, how can I…..Oh, this is Kelsey.” On the other end of the line, the President of the bank, calling from the main branch sighed and said, “Let me talk to Shelly.”
Silence is golden, so are phone skills.
She can’t be blamed really. Being the youngest sister, we set her up for failure of speech, as everyone else in the family spoke for her. I’ve just learned to stop doing this a year ago, and fully plan on having some relapses. Big sister habits are hard to break. When she was in kindergarten, a parent of her little friend called the house to schedule a play date and asked for “Mrs. Mouse, Kelsey’s mom”. After some confusion, they determined that they did call the right house, but had the wrong name. We later figured out that Kelsey had told the friends at school her name was Kelsey Mouse. A clear misunderstanding, as we had only been inserting her name into the Mickey Mouse song for 5 years: “K-E-L…S-E-Y M-O-U-S-E, Kelsey Mouse….Kelsey Mouse…”
Bless her confused, silent self.
A while back we hosted our beloved friends, Amy and Kyle’s wedding reception on our back patio. The baby sister was staying with us at the time and was a huge help in assisting the decorators and caterer. After the reception got started, she did what she was best at and snuck away to her bedroom, hiding from all the people, because sometimes life is just too peopley. It was a beautiful evening, Amy and her party planner did a perfect job at turning the back porch into a gorgeous place to celebrate one of our favorite families blending and growing.
As the night came to a close, the few who were left here all congregated in the kitchen, eating leftovers and recalling the events of the day. Baby sister emerged from her room and one of the guys said, “Hey Kelsey! Were you back there napping?” Sweet sister shyly smiled, gave an awkward laugh and said, “Sometime.” Singular. Neither party knew exactly what to do except awkwardly stare at each other. The best part of watching the interaction was Kelsey’s full commitment to her reply. She knew she had given a random, weird answer, but instead of correcting herself with a “silly me”, she just smiled and stared back until he walked away confused.
Michelle, our dear friend was also in the kitchen that night. Her family had recently moved away – a devastating loss to our hearts and neighborhood. Amy and I both missed her terribly. Michelle is the life of a back-porch party, always thinking up fun games like our yearly talent show, telling the kids campfire ghost stories, making us laugh as she acts out her most recent hilarious tales. Michelle has big blue eyes that seem to get bigger when telling a story, she talks with her whole body, and when she tells a story you feel like you were literally there. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.
Michelle, Amy, and I – Photo by Aurora Henry
Once they got settled into their new home, Michelle set out on some job interviews, one being at a private school. She felt pretty good about how the interview was going as she sat in a lone chair, across from the entire Board, answering all their questions like a professional champ. Nearing the end of the interview, one of the Board members asked if her family went to church, and if so, where they attended. Michelle wholeheartedly nodded and replied that they did indeed. When he repeated the question asking where her family attended, she thought fast and replied, “Lady of the Lord.” Still nodding, eyes huge, she was fully committed to her answer and church – all in.
Michelle does not fabricate stories, just churches. In her defense, they had just moved to a new city with new churches with weird names. In that weird, new city, not one church was named “Lady of the Lord”, however there were two Catholic churches that they planned to visit, one had the word “Lady” and one had “Lord” in it. Sometimes we have to create our own spaces.
When Amy and I heard this story, we howled. We laughed until we cried at the visual of our precious and hilarious friend sitting in a chair, facing an entire board of a private school, eyes wide, head nodding, stoically telling them with assurance that she attends a church in her head.
Ah, but the Lady of the Lord church does exist, as it is now the name of our back-porch sanctuaries. Appropriately titled and truly one of the most peaceful churches that I’ve ever attended. We are ladies of the Lord, He comforts us through the friendship of each other, speaks to us through sounds of nature, and shows us love by the gift of a safe place.
God in us, among us, and for us.
Even when our tongues are tied, our words are tangled, and our lives are sometimes twisted. He knows our hearts are for Him, and I imagine even has to sometimes shake His head and simply chuckle.
*Featured photo by Asher Creek Photography.
