21 Lessons learned on the way to Forty.

“The soul is covered with a thousand veils.”

Perhaps 40 is the start of peeling them. Or maybe it’s the age you get serious about it.  Unpacking and shedding the veils that have covered us, whether by choice or unknowingly.

 

If forty brings me closer to my authentic self, then bring it.  The fact that not all make it here is not lost on me, birthdays are a privilege. Another trip around the sun to learn, grow, and experience what this life offers. My prayer has been for God to help remove the veils. That I would no longer be intoxicated by my insecurities or paralyzed by my patterns.

 

Turning 40 is weird, yet so cool.  Like I should have more figured out, but then realize the learning never ends.  Life evolves.  I like being here.  A lady this weekend commented that this was the 19^th anniversary of my 21^st birthday.  Nope. No ma’am.  It’s my 40^th.  I earned every dang year of it, so don’t short me nineteen of them.

 

Here are 21 lessons gathered on this journey that I wish I could share with 21 year old Brooke…

1. Don’t miss the lesson or the joy of the moment because you are too focused on the way things should be. Be flexible. 
2. A stacked bob haircut is not the best look on you.  But, I understand that every mom has to have the “mom cut” at some point.  Get yours over with early and apologize to McCray for what you looked like in his younger years.
3. If you don’t transform from your pain, you will transmit it.  Work on healing everyday.  Be part of the solution and when you know better, do better.
4. Pay attention to the people who show up and bring out the light in you. Those are your people.  Sadly, not all relationships will last the duration of your life.  Sometimes its necessary to cut the rope, especially when it’s looped around your neck.
5. When you pray for rain you gotta deal with the mud too.  Sorel boots are best for this.
6. Do your best to always show up for weddings, funerals, and girlfriend weekends. Support and love your people through the normal times too.  Like Tuesdays.
7. Life isn’t always fair, however your Creator can work all things out for good. Try to grasp this early so you don’t waste too much time on trying to fix this.
8. You will have the 3 boys you wished for (with a plot twist), your heart will expand and explode with love for them daily.  The years with them in your home literally evaporate, so soak them up.  When all else fails, love and respect always works with boys.
9. Laughter truly is a medicine. Take it daily.
10. Always take the pictures. People will tease you for this, but secretly love it and ask for them later.  Try not to roll your eyes when they do.
11. Rescuing dogs is an okay thing to be known for.  If people don’t get it, then they have never been unconditionally loved by an animal.  And their soul is probably black. 😉
12. Blood and water are really the same thickness.  And sometimes water can wash the blood stains away.  You’ll figure this out.
13. One day there will be a man that looks at you the same way Kroy looks at crazy Kim Z. on the Bravo TV channel. Like you are magic.  And it will take your breath away every time.
14. Open your bible and your heart a lot. It will never stop teaching or amazing you.
15. Always choose experiences over things.  Travel and gather experiences like rare gems. (Remember #10 on this.)
16. Buy the unique belt, fun shoes, and big earrings.  This will dress up the wardrobe that your friends call “classic”.
17. Connection involves being vulnerable. Figure out if you’d rather be shiny and admired, or real and known. Being known is vulnerable, but feels so good in safe places.
18. Stillness is an adventure too.  Sometimes the best kind.
19. You can change the course of your day or situation by pressing pause and making a list of what you are grateful for.  No joke.  Write it out, mentally or physically.  It will change the current of your emotions.
20. It’s okay to say No.  It is actually wonderful.  Don’t feel like you owe everyone an explanation.  Not all situations or choices need to be explained.
21. Happily Ever After only exists if you work for it.  It really should be “Workily Ever After”, and that’s just as good.  Good hair just makes the fairy tale more believable, so take care of it.

 

This is 40.

I think you’re really going to like it here.

Brooke 

 

P.S. I can’t wait to hear what 60 year old Brooke has to tell us….